I've Loved You Forever
by titaniasfics
Summary: Katniss and Peeta have known each other all their lives. But a lifetime of missed opportunities culminates in an encounter that has serious consequences for both of them. Outlined for five chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**I was given a series of prompts from a fic writing meme on tumblr. From three of those, I created a short, continuous fic. Each prompt is the title of each chapter. This is outlined for five chapters.**

**Part 1: ****Prompt 5) One Night Stand and Falling Pregnant AU**

"There's nothing wrong with the stick, K. It's positive." said Johanna slowly, as Katniss stared down at the unmistakable pink double line that was darkening with every moment that passed.

"No!" Katniss hissed, her voice steadily rising with her hysteria. "Where's the receipt? I want my money back!"

Johanna screwed up her face. "Now that's just fucking gross! You do _not_ take used pregnancy tests back to drugstore. Even I wouldn't do that!" She took the stick away from Katniss and tossed it with the other three used ones in the waste paper basket, each one having given up the same result. She turned back to a pale Katniss, who stood shaking in front of the mirror. The tiny dimensions of the bathroom reminded Johanna of the size of the small two-bedroom apartment Katniss shared with her little sister, Prim, an apartment that could barely fit the two of them, much less an infant. She took Katniss by the shoulders and turned her around, taking in her distraught features and grey eyes that had gone wide with terror. "Okay, so who's the baby daddy?"

Katniss wrenched herself away from Johanna and pushed past her towards the kitchen, "God, please, don't say 'baby daddy!' It's so…"

"So _what_, Kat?" she said, heading to the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of cheap red wine that they'd opened last night. Katniss sat down at the breakfast bar while her friend poured two glasses and handed one to her. "Is it Gale's? Did you guys hook back up without telling me?"

Katniss looked at the glass with an expression of mild disgust. "No, it's not Gale. He's with Madge now. And anyway, I don't have to check in with you every time I get laid," she groused angrily, a scowl settling over her features as she pushed the glass away from her.

"No," Johanna answered. "But you haven't seen dick in six months and then all of a sudden you're pregnant? You're not the Virgin Mary!" Katniss continued to eye the wine warily. "Why are you looking at your glass like that?"

Katniss shook her head. "It's not good for the baby."

Johanna practically jumped out of her chair, grabbing fistfulls of her hair as she paced. "Okay, let's not...let's not do that right now. _A little wine won't hurt the 'baby'_," she mimicked impatiently, making air quotes as she spoke. "We need to establish paternity here…"

Katniss closed her eyes, a shaky breath wracking her slim frame. "I know who the father is," she said quietly.

Johanna looked at her friend who was sitting stock still as if in a yoga pose, taking deep breaths that seemed to do nothing to calm her. She continued to study Katniss, wracking her memory for any indication of what her friend might have been up to when suddenly she froze, her eyes widening and an idea dawned on her. "Kat, don't tell me...you don't mean...?"

Katniss put her head down on her arm. "I did it. I finally did it."

"You fucked Peeta Mellark?" Jo shouted, walking around the counter to stare down at her friend in disbelief. "You fucked your tragic, childhood crush, Peeta Mellark and didn't tell me?" Johanna shook her head vigorously, causing her short brown hair to bounce around her small, oval-shaped face. "You fucked baker-boy-turned-manwhore Peeta Mellark? Without protection? Without telling me?" her voice had risen in an octave-shattering crescendo that ended with practically a squeal, something Jo never did. "And you got knocked-the-fuck up? Have I not taught you anything?"

"I used protection! I don't know what happened!" wailed Katniss as the realization of her situation crashed down on her. She considered her sister, Prim, who still had two years of college to complete and even though she was on a scholarship, they needed every penny Katniss could scrounge together to help pay for their dingy apartment and their broken-down car. A baby would be catastrophic, not just for Katniss, but also for her sister. Katniss had just gotten hired on to her job at the lab and besides the miserable starting pay, she was still on her probationary period. She didn't even have health benefits yet.

"Kat, I thought it was a coffee date! How do you go from Starbucks to...this?" Johanna indicated towards Katniss' belly in pure disbelief.

"I...well, we got to talking and one thing led to another…" Katniss involuntarily gave a half-smile, thinking of the memory of Peeta's confession, their race to get back to his apartment, the taste of espresso on his lips, his blazing blue eyes when she stood naked before him, his blond hair in her hands, the feel of him between her legs…

"The condom must have broken," Katniss said quietly. "Well, one of the condoms…"

"One of the condoms," Jo repeated, equally quiet, sitting down as the indignation fled her body, leaving her tired and weak. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought you always, you know, liked him?"

Katniss lowered her head, unable to look her friend in the face. "It was just a one-night stand. If I didn't tell you, then it wouldn't be real and I figured it would be easier to forget about him."

"He didn't call you back, did he?" Johanna asked with infinite kindness. Katniss had been through everything and deserved so much better than this. "That motherfucker didn't call you back."

Instead of answering, Katniss put her head in her hands."I'm so fucked!" she said slowly, pronouncing each word like a death sentence.

Johanna narrowed her eyes at her. "No, you're not. You know what you have to do."

It was then that the tears came, one after another until she was sobbing. Katniss didn't cry - not since her father died and her mother committed suicide. People in school used to say she didn't have tear ducts; she was tough and aloof and no one could get close to her, even the people that Katniss dreamed of being close to. Even the boy who'd been her best friend and had grown apart from her and was now nothing but a regret. "I know, I know," she said. Johanna hugged her hard as Katniss mourned what could not be.

"We'll figure it out. You'll see," she said soothingly, rocking her as her friend fell apart. But Johanna Mason was not one to stand by while her friends were trampled by others, especially someone like Katniss, who never asked anything more out of life but to have a little peace and be able to take care of her sister. No, Jo was not the forgiving kind.

"No, you're _going_ to be okay," she said fiercely. She was going to make sure of it. And she knew exactly who was going to make sure that Katniss Everdeen would be okay, if she had to drag him kicking and screaming to fulfill his responsibilities.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2: ****Prompt 2) Childhood Best Friends**

Katniss lay in bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling of her bedroom. When her neighbors upstairs were particularly rowdy, chips of spackle would fall down on her, sometimes at night when she wasn't even aware of it. She'd wake the next morning to pieces on the bed, which she'd quickly dispense with by shaking her duvet outside her window. They had an apartment on the third floor of a tenement building, her window view being that of the stone blocks of the building next door. The white chips would float down like feathers on the alley below.

She thought back to that rainy afternoon when she'd set out to the bookstore in search of free wi-fi. She and Prim couldn't afford cable so Katniss thought the inconvenience of leaving her house was worth the benefit of not having to pay the outrageous cost for having internet at home.

She got more than wi-fi out of the visit. Sitting at her computer, listening to her music, she was oblivious to her surroundings until she became aware that someone had approached her. It was the last person she ever thought she'd see again.

"Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?" he asked, with an expression between curiosity and surprise.

"Peeta Mellark? Wow, it's been…"

"Years," he stared down at her dumbfounded, before pulling out the chair before her. "May I?"

Katniss floundered for a moment. He hadn't changed - still the same wavy, gold hair, the blue eyes framed by those impossibly long lashes. He'd lost the look of boyishness and was all hard angles and definition except for his eyes, which were so round and blue, nothing in the world could make them appear fierce. She'd simply nodded when he'd taken the seat across from her, as if fifteen years hadn't passed since her father died and changed everything in her life. As if they were still best friends.

It had been a factory accident that had taken her father from her. Her mother had lasted all of six months before downing a bottle of sleeping pills, essentially leaving eleven year-old Katniss and 8 year-old Prim to their own devices. Katniss was still reeling from her father's death when she had been forced to take care of herself and her sister and would have ended up in foster care had it not been for Uncle Haymitch and Aunt Effie. When she moved in with her uncle and aunt into their house across town, she lost everything - the home she'd known since she was a baby, the neighborhood, her school and all her childhood friends, especially her best friend.

She never had another friend like Peeta Mellark. Johanna was ferociously devoted to her - loyal and protective in every way. She could tell her anything. But Peeta had known her since she was five. They'd gone to school together. They'd played together. He'd snuck cheese buns out of his bakery and brought them to her house. He'd shared his toys and books with none of the hesitation her other friends seemed to have. Even at a young age, he was unfailingly generous, particularly with Katniss and he'd made her feel safe and wanted in a way no one had made her feel afterwards.

He knew her before she had been ground down by life and circumstance. To her mind, he'd known a better, more pure version of herself, one that hadn't been irrevocably altered by life's tragedies. The person she'd become afterwards was jaded and damaged beyond repair. She'd become a person even she didn't want to know.

So when she'd seen him in the halls of Panem High five years later, it had been with a feeling of shock. He'd changed so much. Peeta had grown up to become a wrestling star - medium height, stocky, wide-shouldered and so painfully handsome that girls fell at his feet. Katniss had wanted to speak to him, had wanted to say something to maybe recover what they'd had but his circle of friends had changed. He was popular and sought after and she quickly resigned herself to the fact that they'd become too different to get back to the way they'd been and so she hadn't even tried.

It was the same in college - Peeta Mellark, studying art on a wrestling scholarship - a rare combination of brawn and sensitivity that made him seem unreachable. If Katniss had been a satellite in high school, she was in another galaxy altogether in college. In addition, the stress of supporting her sister and herself through part-time jobs and grants made dating anyone next to impossible, with exception of her ex-boyfriend, Gale Hawthorne. But even their relationship had fizzled into companionship.

When she'd bumped into Peeta at the bookstore, she had long given up on ever having anything to do with him again. They'd graduated from college by then and she'd moved to the opposite end of the county. Her sole objective was to get her sister, Prim, through school. She hadn't given a second thought to her lost childhood friend. So it was a surreal afternoon when he invited her for coffee. Surreal, and unimaginable and soon, they were in his apartment, unable to get beyond the living room, their clothes in disarray. And that night seemed to last forever.

Her mind went around in circles when she was interrupted by the pounding at her front door. She considered playing possum and laying in bed until whoever it was went away but the pounding just got louder and more insistent. As Katniss sat up, she heard a sound like rocks rattling against the window pane. Squinting toward the glass, she confirmed that someone was, indeed, throwing pebbles at her window. When she looked down on the darkened alley, she could see the unmistakable figure of Johanna.

"Brainless, open the door!" she shouted from below.

"Shhhhh! Okay, okay!" she sprinted out of her room, pausing only to throw on her pajama pants, before yanking the door open.

She almost fainted when she saw that it was none other than Peeta Mellark standing in her doorway.

Katniss stood rooted to the spot, unable to think or speak. It was him, at the threshold, filling up every corner of empty space with his presence. Katniss's breath caught in her chest as she looked up into his incredibly blue eyes, eyes that made her forget herself and everything around her. They blazed as he stared down at her and it was the expression she saw there that brought her out of her stupor. She looked over his shoulder but Johanna was nowhere to be found. Katniss knew she was responsible for this and would have her ass before the night was over.

"Peeta? Wow, I, uh, do you want to come in?" she asked, barely above a whisper.

Peeta slowly took in the sight of her, his eyes running slowly over her tousled dark hair, white t-shirt and green cotton pajama pants before nodding his head. Shutting the door behind him, Katniss was at a loss and decided to rely on good manners until she could think her way out of this particular dilemma.

"Would you...would you like to sit down? I could get you...something…"

"Why?" said Peeta, and it wasn't anger, it wasn't indignation. It was hurt she detected in his voice and it caused her to wither inside.

"What?" Katniss asked in confusion.

"I don't want to sit down. I just want to know why. We had this amazing night together and then you go and give me a fake number...just why? Why bother? And why did you send Johanna to come find me after a month without even a word from you? I just want to know so I can go home with at least this one mystery solved."

"Johanna came to get you?" she asked, avoiding his most difficult questions.

Peeta's brow furrowed. "You didn't ask her to come find me?" He shook his head in exasperation. "You didn't even know I was coming, did you?" Peeta turned around and opened the front door. "Sorry, I was under another impression."

"Peeta!" she shouted, perhaps a little too loudly, causing him to turn towards her. "Please. Stay."

He looked warily at her before shutting the door, unwilling to move.

"I didn't know Johanna was going to go chase you down. But that doesn't mean I'm not...happy to see you. Please, sit down."

Peeta narrowed his eyes at her for a moment before following her into the kitchen. Indicating the breakfast table, Katniss directed him to sit.

"Wine? Water?" she asked nervously, looking through the otherwise bare contents of the refrigerator.

"No, I'm good," he answered.

"Okay," she said quietly. She was being evasive and Peeta wasn't having it. She was pregnant, that was true, and clearly, Jo had gone out of her way to track down Peeta because of that. But she didn't know the whole story, didn't know what Katniss done to create this situation and now Peeta was here, rightfully demanding an explanation.

"How much did Johanna tell you?" she asked cautiously. He hadn't mentioned the pregnancy so she was sure that he didn't know yet.

"Nothing, only that it was urgent that I come see you because you had something to tell me. I wasn't going to come," he said this, and the edge of anger was still in his voice. "But I guess if I knew once and for all what was going through your mind that day, I could have some closure and go on with my life."

Katniss nodded, her hand resting instinctively over her stomach. "Well, first of all, I acted like an ass and I'm sorry. I was scared, I guess."

"Of what? Of me?" he asked in confusion.

"Not of you. I didn't think you were going to say to me you what you said."

"I told you that I'd had a crush on you since were were children. I told you that I cared about you all of my life. Why would something like that scare you?" he probed, the anger dissipating from his voice.

"Peeta...I'm no good for you," she blurted out, glancing at the stack of unpaid bills just beside me, the one that she never seemed to be able to get to the bottom of. ". I...I'm not the person I used to be. I gave you a fake number because I've got a ton of problems. I'm not really any good for dating."

Peeta stared at her for a moment, cocking his head to one side. "With all due respect, that's got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard…"

Katniss could feel her eyes becoming slits as her anger overcame her. "Look, if you're just going to insult me, you can go ahead and go. In fact, just forget it!" She didn't need him or anyone else. "I'm sorry I gave you a bogus number but we were kids the last time we were friends and we're not kids anymore. I've got bigger problems than thinking about who I'm going to kiss!"

Peeta's brow furrowed and suddenly, his expression softened. "Katniss, I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm saying that what you just _said _was stupid."

"And how is that any better?" she asked indignantly.

Peeta rose from his seat and made his way over to where she stood motionless. His size made the small space of his her kitchen collapse to nothing, giving her a sudden feeling of claustrophobia.

"Because, I know you aren't stupid. I'm not trying to insult you. But I had been waiting my entire life for that night. Did it look for one moment that I was thinking whether you were any good for me or not?"

Katniss breathed deeply, feeling heady from his proximity, the fact that he appeared to take up all the air around her. "No, you never gave me that impression. But you've been with a lot of girls. What makes me so special?" she asked nervously.

Peeta shook his head, his face suffused in disbelief. "I've been with girls looking for one who would make me feel even remotely what I've always felt for you. You don't get to decide if you're good or not for me. I'm a big boy. I can decide that by myself."

His immediacy brought back the memory of that night in his apartment and for an instant, she was there with him again. She remembered kissing him - his hands on either side of her face as he'd captured her lips. He had broken her down, with each swipe of his tongue, wearing away her resistance to him, trapping her with his need until she'd lost the desire to be anywhere else.

And he did it again. His lips brushed hers, pushing everything from her mind. The force of her response took her by surprise, resigned as she had been to not seeing him again. She pressed her body up against his, her hands threading their way into his hair and she kissed him back. She didn't often take things for herself, accustomed as she was to think of everyone else first. So she kissed Peeta greedily, for no other reason but that she took pleasure in the taste of his mouth, the way his hips ground into hers, the feel of his body under her fingertips.

It was when his hands slipped under the elastic of her pants, kneading the firm curve of her buttocks that Katniss stepped back, laying her palms against his rock-hard chest.

"Peeta," she gasped breathlessly, her body screaming at the interruption, "Stop! I'm...I'm pregnant!"

If Katniss had flung ice water at his face, he could not have been more shocked. For a moment, he only stared at her, as if trying to comprehend her words. He shook his head slowly, warding off the truth of her words.

"You're...what?" he said, his face becoming paler by the moment.

"It's why Johanna went to find you. I'm pregnant and I...well, I need to make a decision about what to do."

Peeta shook his head again in disbelief. "We used protection. Every time!"

Katniss' shoulders slumped. Saying this to Peeta, now, of all times, was tantamount to signing a death warrant on any chances they might have had at a real relationship. She saw it in his eyes, the way he slowly drew back from her, recoiling in terror or perhaps revulsion.

"Are you...sure?" he asked.

"Am I sure that I'm pregnant or am I sure it's yours? What answer are you looking for?" she spat angrily.

"Both," he said quietly, "I suppose."

Katniss' heart fell into her stomach. What else was there for him to say? They hadn't seen each since they graduated college four years before. The only thing they had in common was the memory of a childhood friendship and several near misses and lost opportunities. She could have been any other girl in the world and in that anonymity, became no one at all.

"I'm sure. But I guess you only have my word for it."

Peeta's arms hung limp at his sides as the shock of what she said washed over him. He looked past her, searching the air for answers that were not there.

"I need to take a walk," he said. "To process things."

"Of course," she said, suddenly feeling very tired. She watched as he stepped past her, until he disappeared through the door of her apartment. It was very likely that this time, she would not see him again.

Katniss turned like a marionette, her strings tugging her along without real volition on her part, and mechanically made her way back to her room to continue her meditation of the chipped paint of her ceiling.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3: Prompt 1) Soul Mates**

Two perfect braids. That's how Katniss always wore her hair to school. The color was as dark as a starless night. She began the school day with each hair in place as if she were a painting. But as lovely as she was, she was also a tomboy so that by day's end, her braids were a disarray of wild wisps escaping their confinement.

Peeta also remembered her voice. She sang all the time when they were children. When her father walked her to class, her voice arrived before she did, carrying nursery rhymes or traditional songs belonging to her father's people from the mountains. Peeta couldn't carry a tune himself. Even so, he memorized the songs she sang and followed along silently, the words captured in his young heart. He hadn't known how soon he would need them, how suddenly the moment came when he would have to comfort himself with those songs because the girl who sang them would be gone.

"She stopped singing when her father died," Peeta said quietly, his words hanging heavy with pity even after so many years. Mr. Everdeen had been a gentle father and a doting husband and he remembered him with great fondness. Katniss had loved her father in that way only a little girl could - with the force of her first great love. His death had altered her irrevocably until, when they finally met again in high school, she was not longer a sprightly girl who sang whenever she could. She had become aloof and untouchable.

"I remember when her uncle and aunt took her and her sister away," Delly said as she set a cup of tea before Peeta, who took a cautious sip to prolong the silence.

"That was a bad time. We had no warning. She just didn't come to school one day and then she was gone," he said after a time.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Delly sat down across from Peeta, adjusting her apron strings, freeing the strands of curly blond hair that had become tangled in the knot. She had been friends with Peeta for as long as he could remember. He was in her wedding party when she married Thom and was the godfather of her son. There was no one he trusted more.

"Whatever she wants me to do. I took a walk for awhile after she told me and then drove straight here." Peeta rubbed his face in frustration. "She didn't call me after our last...date. She gave me a fake number and then out of the blue, she's tells me she's pregnant and I don't know…"

"You're sure it's yours?" she said this but the discomfort of saying it was clear on her face.

"I'm sure. She wasn't even going to tell me herself. Her friend, Johanna, took it upon herself to find me. There was no intention by Katniss to lie. And...well, it seemed she hadn't been with anyone in a while when I was with her…" he said sheepishly.

Delly put her hand up. "TMI! I'm too old for all that," she laughed. "Do you care about her? I mean, you're with...who are you with right now?" She teased, knowing her friend very well.

"I'm between situations," he said vaguely. "It doesn't matter. Katniss would trump everything else."

Delly leaned back in her chair, considering Peeta with an air of confusion. "But you haven't seen her in ages. And then when you do, she makes sure you can't find her again."

"I know but, when I saw her in that shop, I didn't realize how much I had been missing her. But I had. A lot. We didn't have anything to do with each other, not really, in high school and college. We just ran in different circles but it was like I knew everything that was going on with her. I wasn't indifferent to her at all." he chuckled without humor.

"A stalker?" Delly teased.

Peeta chuckled. "More like just really well-informed. But she always looked like she didn't want to be bothered. Delly, I don't know. I'm not even sure what kind of feelings she has for me. Do I really want to encourage her to have a baby?"

"You have to help her, no matter what," she said sternly.

"And I will. Whatever she wants to do, I'll support her. But is it strange that there is also a part of me that wants her to keep the baby, that wants her to let me take care of them both? It took just that one night, and it's totally ass-backwards but I haven't stopped thinking about her and I'm just not as horrified by the thought as I should be!" Peeta said this with frustration.

"Well, you let her guide you on what she wants. She may not want to keep the baby and truthfully, you don't have a strong enough claim on her to do anything about it." Delly put her hand over his. "Children are hard work and you are proposing to sort out your feelings for Katniss while preparing to bring a child in to this world - you're asking for a lot."

"I know, but there are relationships that start with a lot less," he said as he finished the last of his tea.

"A lot of this is out of your hands. It may be that knowing she has your support will be the most important factor in any decision she makes. But you need to go tell her that, if possible, right now. She doesn't know you like I do. She may think you left and are never coming back again. She never struck me as a completely trusting person, growing up."

Peeta stood suddenly and set the teacup in the sink. "Thank you. I just needed to talk it out."

"I know." she said as she walked him to the door. "Don't keep me wondering, okay? Tell me what happens." She stood on tip toes and kissed his cheek.

"I will," he said as pulled out his car keys. There was nothing more to do than to go to Katniss now. He'd offer her his support and friendship. That was as good a place to start as any.

**XXXXX**

He found himself before the run-down tenement door for the second time today. It was still warm and sunny, though the afternoon was waning into evening. As he rapped on the heavy,worn wood, Peeta thought the first thing he would do was get her the hell out of that hole. He caught himself, however, and took a deep breath. _Easy boy, don't put the cart before the horse. She may not want anything to do with you..._

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the buzzer. Pushing the door open, he took the stairs two at a time as he made his way up to the third floor. Johanna had been the one to tell him which floor to go to, which door to knock on. Just thinking back on how she appeared at his apartment, like a wraith full of purpose and anger, demanding that he go see Katniss as if he had been summoned, filled him with a vague irritation for the girl who claimed to be Katniss' best friend. She was brusque and rude but she had also been right to make him come. Katniss might never have contacted him on her own.

Arriving on the familiar landing, he rapped at the door. It was only a moment when it was opened, not by Katniss, but by a tall, extremely pretty blond girl that Peeta instantly recognized as Katniss' sister, Prim.

"Hi, eh, I don't think you remember me but…"

"Peeta Mellark! Holy shit!" she laughed. It was an infectious sound that brought a smile to his face. "Oh, my god...Katniss!" she called over her shoulder. "Guess who's here?" she turned back towards him and stepped aside. "Come in! Wow!" she looked him up and down. "You've changed!"

"You too, Prim. You're all grown up now," Peeta laughed despite himself.

"Well, yeah! I wasn't going to stay a baby all my life." At that moment, Katniss stepped into view, her eyes wide with shock. She'd changed and now wore a simple button down shirt with jeans. Despite all the madness of the last day, the shock and confusion of seeing her, he couldn't help but note how good she looked, and how very much attracted he was to her.

"Were you going out?" he blurted out unthinkingly.

"For a little. Did you...did you want to join me?" Katniss stammered.

"I...yeah. I was hoping we could...talk." Peeta said and a sudden, palpable tension fell between the three of them.

Prim looked knowingly between Katniss's stricken face and Peeta's before breaking the silence. "Well, I'd love to join you but I have a test to study for. It was nice seeing you again!"

"Yeah, me too," he responded as she waved him off.

Without the distraction of Prim, Peeta found it incredibly difficult to speak to Katniss. He thought he knew what he wanted to say but didn't know the best way to say it so he blurted out, "I'm sorry."

Katniss scowled, somewhat taken aback. "Why sorry?"

"For leaving like that. You probably thought I wasn't coming back."

Katniss gave a half smirk that confirmed to him it was exactly what she'd thought. "I have to admit, I'm surprised to see you."

"Well, I'm here. I just wanted to tell you…"

"Can we not…" Katniss interrupted, looking meaningfully toward where her sister had disappeared to. "Prim doesn't know."

"Oh, right." Peeta nodded in understanding. "Is there a place close by where we can talk?"

"The coffee shop around the corner," she said as she grabbed her purse from the counter. "Seems appropriate, right?"

**XXXXX**

Peeta was surprised at how close the shop was from her house. He wasn't that familiar with this part of town but he knew the bookstore and the coffee shop well and wondered how many times he might have just missed Katniss and not realized it as he'd gone about his business. He couldn't help thinking that what most defined him and Katniss was the number of times they'd passed each other by in their lives, how many opportunities they'd missed without even knowing it. There was something very sad and wasteful about that.

"I've been here a few times and had no idea you were so close by. What a shame," he blurted out.

Katniss' stared at him, her grey eyes concentrating on him as if trying to figure something out. "What would you have done had you known?" She would have sounded coy were it not for the absolute earnestness of her expression.

"I wouldn't have let all this time pass." He leaned forward, tired of the evasion. They'd said nothing to each other on the way there and he was ready to put everything on the table. "Nothing I said the last time we were together has changed. I don't know what impression I gave you earlier. I was overwhelmed and I'm sorry. But whatever you need, whatever decision you make, I'll accept it and support you."

Katniss visibly relaxed, so much so, she looked like she was about to cry. "Thank you. I really don't…" she gasped as the enormity of it seemed to settle on her. "I feel like I'm still taking care of my sister. I'm not ready for this. And yet, I feel like the alternative is even more horrible."

Peeta stared at her slender hand, resting lightly on the table and resisted the urge to take it. "You don't have to feel horrible about anything. Nothing you do will be wrong."

"Maybe," she said as she tapped the table nervously and this time, Peeta gave in and placed his over hers.

"I know this isn't the right time, maybe, but I don't want this to be the only thing between us. I was serious when I said that I've cared for you, for a long time. That night, I felt something...you can't tell me you didn't feel it too."

Katniss took a tremulous breath, shaking her head imperceptibly. "I'd be a lying if I said I didn't."

"You didn't miss me just a little bit this month?" he said, spreading his fingers over her hand. To his relief, she turned it over and let his fingers capture hers.

"I did," she said. "But this isn't a great way to start a relationship."

Peeta shrugged. "To me, this would have happened any way, if things hadn't been interrupted. It isn't perfect or even ideal but I'll take this over nothing at all with you. Aren't you even a little curious about trying? Because I am. I'm not nearly as petrified as I should be about all this. That says something to me."

"It tells me you're crazy," she said, smiling finally.

"Then let's be crazy together. What have you got to lose?" he said, dazzled by the way her faced changed when she wasn't scowling..

"This is not how this conversation was supposed to go." she said, squeezing his hand.

"Nothing between us went the way it was supposed to go. I'd like to think we are setting all that straight again."

Katniss nodded, and Peeta imagined what was going through her mind - her father, her mother, moving, fighting uphill against life. He didn't have to know all the details to know that life was constantly battling against her. "So," she said, "Where do we start?"

He smirked conspiratorily. "We should start with tea. Never underestimate the power of good tea. If you allow it, of course."

She shook her head, suppressing a half laugh. "Okay. It's a little scary, but I allow it."

_**Send me a Ship and a Number and I'll Write You a Short Fic**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Sometime back in December, I posted a story that had been built from a series of prompts similar to the meme I am working my way through now. Those three parts became known as the story ****_I've Loved You Forever._****I never intended it to be a multi-fic endeavor. I thought I was just being clever at the time, getting three disparate prompts together and making them into a coherent story.**

**But ****bubblegum1425 ****encouraged me to try to continue it. She wanted me to write pregnant!Katniss and this strange courtship between Everlark, where they start with a pregnancy and work their way to being a couple. I've only ever written pregnant!Katniss a few times before but I didn't want to commit to yet another WIP. So I let it sit.**

**But today is ****bubblegum1425's ****birthday and she is one of my very best friends, here or anywhere. She is the absolute nicest person you will ever know and she is so talented and authentic. We met when she was reading ****_Good Again_****and we struck up a correspondence that is still going strong and I hope will continue for a very long time.**

**So, for my girl's birthday, I am offering her part 4 of ****_?_**** of ****_I've Loved You Forever_****, my very accidental fic and the only thing I've ever written without an outline. It the tradition of this story, this chapter is in response to prompt # 50, Writer's Choice.**

**Thank you for being my friend, for giving me your unfailing support, and for offering your encouragement. I don't know what I'd do without you!**

Fatness's back ached slightly as she got up from her work area to deposit the empty vials of blood into the bio-hazard container. She was twenty weeks along and even though her belly wasn't huge yet, her small frame made her appear as if she were incubating an over-sized torpedo. The baby was beginning to change her sleeping habits - no more reclining on her stomach or back. She had to get used to sleeping propped up or lying on her side.

It was no wonder that, even though it was her first pregnancy, she would grow so large. Peeta was of medium build but stocky and broad, a trait he shared with his father and two older brothers. It stood to reason then that their baby would also be large, an idea that brought a shiver of both fear and excitement to Katniss.

When she thought of Peeta, she couldn't help but smile, and not just because of the baby. After their talk in the coffee shop, in which they'd decided to give whatever there was between them a shot, they'd also agreed to speak as little of the growing baby as possible, at least during the first trimester, to give themselves a chance to get to know each other again without the distraction of parenthood. They didn't ignore the fact of the baby completely - Katniss' morning sickness, peculiar taste in food and inexhaustible appetite for cheese buns made that almost impossible.

But it was their time to reconnect, to get to know the people they'd become.

There were fundamentals that hadn't change - Peeta was still as generous and open as he'd always been, which explained his success with people, while Katniss was as taciturn and untrusting as always. His eyes were still that bottomless blue and they still hid secret worlds that were revealed only when he was painting or drawing.

However, he'd grown up, just as she had. He was methodical and organized, which served him well as the owner of his own, small gallery. He was also ambitious and focused when he had a goal in mind, something that had not been as central to his personality when he was a child. He had changed but there was nothing in that change so far that she couldn't live with. On the contrary, she looked forward to seeing him and was curious to find out more.

Katniss shook her head, finding that her thoughts often wandered to Peeta lately. Today was actually a good day for her - her probationary period at the lab was over and her insurance had finally kicked in. She'd gotten her first ultrasound at the local Planned Parenthood, as well as her first prescription of prenatal vitamins when she'd first found out she was pregnant and was uninsured. She'd always be grateful that she'd had that option but she was looking forward to her twenty week ultrasound with her regular doctor. If all went as it should, they would know the sex of the baby before the week was out.

She could finally take proper care of her pregnancy and that put a bounce in her step as she cleaned her work area and waved goodbye to her co-workers. It was windy that afternoon which made Katniss shiver as she stood on the pavement. She and Peeta had been invited to dinner with Delly and Thom and she wanted to get on the bus as soon as possible, to escape the weather and get ready in time to make it to their house.

Her eye was on the bus stop as she picked up her pace to cross the road when she heard her name being called.

"Katniss!" came the familiar voice that twisted her stomach in more knots than her morning sickness. Peeta stepped away from where he'd been leaning against his car, waving at her. She wanted to laugh at the way the wind lifted his curls haphazardly from his head.

"I thought you'd want a ride home in this weather," he said by way of explanation as he opened the car door for her.

She smiled gratefully as she shuffled into the car, sighing in relief at the warmth of the interior. He'd run the heat for her and she was now in a cocoon of happy comfort. When he settled inside, he handed her a small bag. "For the baby," he smiled as he put the car in gear.

"Thank you," she answered, opening the white, butter-spotted bag, the smell of the warm cheese buns wafting up to her nose and rousing her appetite as if a cord connected the small, round, spongy rolls directly to her stomach. "Baby approves," she said as she leaned in to leave a kiss on his cheek.

Peeta smiled happily, pulling into traffic and deftly weaving through the cars as she ate contentedly, the occasional sigh or moan of pleasure punctuating the air. When she'd finished her snack, she rubbed her stomach, the tight ball of mass shifting from the stimulation of being fed. The wind whipped against the car, making a thumping, whooshing sound but Katniss was in utter peace. She suddenly felt drowsy from the combination of her full stomach, the heater and the lulling motion of the moving car.

She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep until Peeta nudged her gently awake. She opened her bleary eyes to see that they were already in front of her apartment. Rubbing her face, she sat up to orient herself.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep," she said, heat flooding her cheeks. She couldn't believe she'd simply nodded off like that.

"No worries. Are you sleeping okay at night?" Peeta asked, running his knuckles over her cheek. His touch added to the coziness and comfort she was experiencing, making her feel safe and taken care of. He had an uncanny way of making her feel like nothing in the world could go wrong.

"You know, as the belly grows, it gets a little more awkward," she said, stifling a yawn. He was at her door in a moment and as she stepped out into the bracing wind, it was all she needed to wake up.

"We could stay in, you know, if you're not feeling up to going out," he said, offering her his arm as he led her up the stairs.

"No," she said, fumbling with the keys before he took them from her and opened the door to the apartment building. "That nap did me a world of good. We'll go. I just need a few minutes to clean up and change."

Inside, the house was dark. Peeta moved around the space, turning on lights and opening curtains with the familiarity of one who'd spent many afternoons with Katniss and her sister over the course of the last four months. It was part of the "getting to know you" phase that they'd dedicated to each other. Peeta took their coats and hung them up while Katniss set water to boil on the stove, pulling out two large mugs.

"We have a few minutes for tea," she said as she prepared the bags to steep.

"More than a few minutes," he answered, warming his hands while checking the thermostat. Katniss was so used to doing everything herself that it still caught her by surprise when anyone did anything for her. It even put her out sometimes, except when Peeta did the little things he did to make her comfortable. Instead of embarrassment, it warmed her to the tips of her toes.

The tell-tale whirring of the heat coming online confirmed that the small space would soon warm up. That task completed, Peeta was suddenly behind her as she wiped down the counter, something her sister was not very diligent about doing. She felt his lips on the juncture of her neck and shoulders, causing a thrill of excitement to run down her spine. They hadn't been intimate again since the first time, opting to move at a slower pace as they tried to bring under control the abnormal situation of two people trying to build a relationship while awaiting a child. But it took incredible self-control on her part to not fall into the pleasure of having sex with Peeta again.

Katniss leaned against him, relishing the feeling of his hard chest against her back. It was only four short months ago that her life appeared to come to an end and yet, at this moment, she couldn't imagine it being any more perfect. She turned, hooking her hands behind his neck, and pulled him in for a kiss, her mouth parting easily beneath his. They kissed for a long while, the heat of the apartment nothing next to the fire building in her blood. However, Peeta was gentle with her, holding her to him but not too tightly and she found this timidity both touching and somewhat frustrating. She understood, though and as she pulled away, tried to hide the quickening of her breathing by fetching two teaspoons to stir the tea.

Peeta rubbed his face, apparently struggling also before he carried the mugs of tea to the table. "I was thinking," he said as he fiddled with his teabag while Katniss got comfortable in her chair. "My mother and father invited us for dinner this weekend."

Katniss stiffened. She knew what he was going to ask and she felt her heart, which had pounded earlier from excitement and desire, now hammering with anxiety. She stared at him, astounded by what he was suggesting. "How are you going to explain the baby?"

"They know that we're seeing each other. But I have to tell them about the baby sooner or later. Since it's right after the next ultrasound appointment and we might find out what the baby is going to be, it might be a good time to tell them."

"I don't know, Peeta…" she began, a vision of Peeta's mother crossing her mind's eye. She had been horrible when they were growing up and, while he never actually came right out and said it, Katniss knew she hadn't changed at all. "Your mom never approved of me. I don't know if I really want to subject myself to...to her…"

"Judgment? That's not our problem. The way I live my life is my business and she has nothing to say about it," he said firmly as he rose to search the cupboard for the sugar pot. He never took sugar in his tea but Katniss did. Setting the small ceramic in front of her, he continued, "I'm not going to wait until the baby is born to tell her that she is going to be a grandmother."

"Okay, I get it but what if she asks what our plans are? What are we going to tell her then?"

"I'm going to tell her that we are taking things one day at a time. I know my mother stresses you out but I can handle her." He got up and took the chair just adjacent to hers and gathered her hands in his. "Katniss, I know it's soon. I mean, not with respect to the baby, but with respect to us. But I would like to eventually...I don't know...be more serious with you. I want to date you exclusively, of course, but my feelings...they run deeply…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't want to scare you or anything…"

Katniss stared at him, her heart thumping loudly in her chest again. "I'm not scared," she whispered, squeezing his fingers. She wasn't sure how things were supposed to progress because they weren't a normal couple and their timeline would always be a little different from everyone else's. "I know you care about me," she softly, for she had rarely been so nervous.

Peeta nodded. "I do," he said, running a hand over her braid, tugging the end gently. "I want to take care of both you and the baby and I don't care what anyone says about how things went between us or how things are going now. I want...I want more with you, do you understand? That's the starting point for everything else."

"So you're telling me not to be afraid of your mother?" she said, trying to quell the sudden terror that was growing up in her heart. _ What kind of _more_ was he looking for? And why did it terrify her so much? _

"I'm telling you, don't go into that dinner trying to explain things. We don't owe anyone an explanation. Let it be. You're my girlfriend. You're pregnant with my child. Everything else doesn't matter."

"We're boyfriend and girlfriend?" she smiled at the monikers, savoring them in her mind as if she were back in middle school. _I'm Peeta's girlfriend and he is my boyfriend_.

But Peeta was clearly carrying a tangle of nerves himself, because the sudden paling of his features demonstrated that her humor was lost on him. "Aren't...I mean, don't you...don't you want to be my girlfriend?"

Katniss studied him for a moment, focusing on the smattering of freckles on his nose. She had never really posed the question to herself before and it seemed so binding to her. But when she searched her feelings, she found that she already considered herself coupled to him, and not just because of the nugget of squirming joy she carried in her belly. No, she was bound to him and was happy to be so.

"Yes, I do." she said simply.

The fear drained from Peeta's face, replaced by a look of relief. He leaned in to kiss her again, his hand resting lightly on her belly. Katniss felt her body quicken, from the feel of his lips against hers, the broad, solid hand splayed over the place where she could feel their child flutter, but it was a movement he would not be able to perceive yet. These flutterings terrified her immensely but the idea of this little piece of Peeta growing inside of her didn't fill her with the same anxiety as it once had. Peeta made the most impossible obstacles appear conquerable and the persistence of his optimism gave her hope for the future.

When he pulled away, his hand lingered on her stomach, a meditative, intense expression suffusing his features. When he looked up, he had the glint of revelation in his eyes.

"It's a girl, you know," he whispered, as much to Katniss as to the baby, with a calm and certainty that was almost eerie.

"You have a fifty percent chance of being right," she answered lightly, in a vain attempt to dispel the strangeness that suddenly hung in the air at his words, as if he were in the grip of a vision.

"No, she's a girl," he persisted. "She has dark hair like yours, but not as straight. And her eyes are just like mine. She's going to be beautiful and she'll remind me of her mother every time I look at her."

Katniss's breath was held captive by his words and she found she was only able to nod, her senses scattered as she envisioned the beautiful child he had described. She was moved by whatever impulse had overtaken him and responded, "Or maybe, he's a boy, with blond hair like yours, and a happy personality. His eyes, though, will be mine and he will be handsome and remind me of his father every time I look at him."

Peeta nodded in understanding and, without hesitation, pulled her into the circle of his arms, holding her tightly. Many years later, Katniss would look back at that moment and realize that was when their _together _truly began, when their hearts and their dreams aligned and finally became one.

As she clung to him, she considered the way Peeta had named them. _Boyfriend and girlfriend. _In the beginning, they'd been friends, then fell out-of-touch, after a time, becoming the briefest of lovers, then expecting-parents, and now boyfriend and girlfriend. But as strange as the trajectory of their relationship was, the terms were inconsequential because they were now something else yet again. And Katniss had no words to describe the rare yet beautiful thing they'd just become.


	5. Chapter 5

**I've Loved You Forever - Valentine's Day Outtake (otherwise known as Chapter 5)**

**Many thanks to akai-echo for the exquisite banner, mega-aulover, thegirlfromoverthepond, and akai-echo for their pre-reading magic. This chapter was written for the Love in Panem challenge hosted on tumblr.**

**XXXXX**

"Let me feel her!" Prim said excitedly as she put her hand over Katniss's stomach. Katniss reclined against the large pillow of her sofa, the compact swell of her six month belly round and firm beneath her sister's hand. They'd only just found out the sex of the baby - a little girl, just like Peeta predicted - during her last ultrasound. After several moments of resting her palm against Katniss's stomach, Prim's eyes widened and her other hand flew to her mouth.

"The baby is moving so much today!" she laughed as Katniss grunted slightly from a sudden jab at her side.

"She's a busy bee. I think baby is looking forward to daddy's cooking." She looked over her shoulder beyond the kitchen island, where Peeta hummed under his breath, moving pots and skillets and generally making his magical mess happen. "It's your turn to wash dishes," Katniss reminded Prim.

Her sister shook her head, blond waves bouncing on her shoulders. "Not me! I'm going out in a bit. Let them soak - I'll get them in the morning," she answered. Katniss already knew her idea of letting the dishes soak was to not look at them until they'd started to walk on their own. She usually reminded her little sister of that fact but tonight, she was feeling way too relaxed to be bothered with it. She'd fuss at her in the morning.

"What are you up to tonight?" Katniss asked instead.

"I'm going to the movies with some friends from my Clinical Practices class." Prim straightened up, her lovely, long legs unfolding beneath her. She towered over her older sister now and Katniss couldn't help but feel like it was only yesterday that Prim was wearing double braids and climbing into bed to sleep with her at night. Now she was a shockingly talented med student and looked like a model. And yet, Katniss could still see her baby sister in the woman's face before her and knew she would always be her Little Duck.

"You be careful, okay?" Katniss admonished as she glanced to see Peeta smile and wave them over to the dining corner. Her apartment was too small to have an actual dining room so they ate in a space situated in the far corner of her kitchen. Katniss made to stand also but Prim placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I'll set the table," she said to her. "You rest your big belly," she laughed.

"It's not big at all!" Katniss protested, which only made Prim guffaw even more.

"I set it already," Peeta answered, placing the seafood paella in the center, salad and cheese buns around it on the table. "Dad sent you the usual, with a couple of Valentine's Day cookies, in case I didn't get a chance to stop by this weekend." he said as he pulled Katniss' chair out.

"So what are your plans for Valentine's Day tomorrow?" Prim teased as she unfolded a napkin and placed it on her lap.

"Nope, can't say. It's a surprise. Here," Peeta said, passing Katniss a cheese bun.

"Your dad keeps trying to fatten me up like a prized hog," Katniss said in mock irritation as she stared greedily before snatching up the delectable bun. When she sat, she tilted her cheek up in silent entreaty and Peeta paused to respond with a kiss. She felt good - so very good. After the first three months of queasiness and uncertainty, she felt happy, even elated each day. The doctor said that her hormones might be making her feel more euphoric than usual but Katniss knew it wasn't just the hormones that were making her feel that way.

"Oh stop," Prim said. "You can't even tell you're pregnant from behind. And I want to hear more about this surprise."

Peeta shook his head, serving the rice mixed with shrimp, giant mussels on the side. "My lips are sealed. And you," he turned towards Katniss, heaping her plate with extra seafood, "You have a long way to go before you're a prized hog. My father just wants his grandchild to be healthy." He sat down after everyone's plate was full.

Prim whistled at the plate in front of her.

"This is incredible. How do you do it?" she said, scooping up a forkful of rice, visibly savoring the flavor.

"I was in a hurry so I used frozen seafood," he said dismissively, as if he had been forced to commit a crime. "You should taste it when it's fresh."

Katniss smiled. "Your standards are way too high. We lived on hot dogs and baked beans for a month. Remember that, Prim?"

Prim's face scrunched up in distaste. "Do I? I couldn't eat anything remotely resembling a bean or a hot dog for years afterwards."

Katniss chuckled but a glance at Peeta told her he was not humored by the idea. He stared into his plate, lapsing into a tense silence. She and her sister had been subjected to moments of abject poverty in their lives and she knew when it came up, it made him uncomfortable. It was one of the few things that reminded her what a giant chasm of life experiences separated him from her.

The rest of the meal was unremarkable. Perhaps it was the masterful way that Peeta had cooked but Prim rethought her position on washing the dishes, much to Katniss's relief, while Peeta and Katniss retired to the living room. He flipped on the television, putting a random program on while Katniss melted into his side, lulled by the meal and the warmth of Peeta's strong body, even though it was freezing outside. Prim worked briskly behind them and, by the time they'd settled on a movie, Prim was already bundling herself up against the cold and heading out.

"Be careful!" Katniss called out over her shoulder.

"Rory's waiting in the car outside. I'll be fine! Have a good night, kids!"

She bounced around the sofa and gave both Katniss and Peeta a kiss and Katniss couldn't help feel like they were two parents, sending their daughter out for the night, which they very nearly were.

When the door shut behind her, Katniss burrowed her way more snugly into Peeta's side, tucking her legs up under her, relieved that she didn't have to be so proper now that her sister was gone. She was also content that it was Friday and she wouldn't have to work the next day.

Peeta felt the change in her position and gathered her into him, burying his nose in her hair. After a bit, he pulled back. "I know I shouldn't ask but...why beans and hot dogs?"

Katniss took a deep breath. "Mom was having one of her bad moments and wouldn't get out of bed. At that time, public assistance didn't come like it does not, on a nice, clean debit card. You had to go down to the Public Assistance, or Welfare Office and get paper food stamps and W.I.C. coupons in person." Katniss recalled the stale smell of the food stamp office, the worn carpet, the kids running around mothers and fathers who waited in long lines to get their precious paper and head directly to the grocery store to stock up on food they prayed would last through the month.

"She didn't get them at the beginning of the month like she was supposed to and we had very little in the way of money. I took what we had and went down to the A&amp;P Supermarket. There was this massive sale on hot dogs and baked beans which we, at the time, we actually liked," Katniss chuckled bitterly at the memory. At the time, the sight of her mother in bed, unresponsive even to her children's hunger had scarred her, almost as badly as her eventual death. "And for nearly a month, until my mother pulled herself together, we had this pasty powdered milk mixed with water and Kix for breakfast, school lunch and baked beans and hot dogs for dinner. Sometimes, we'd change it up and have macaroni and cheese but that was it."

Katniss was in the grip of her memories so didn't notice the stricken look on his face until she snapped out of the recollection. "You okay?"

"I don't...how did you…?" he stammered, horror and pity writ on his face.

She shrugged, the movie before them all but ignored. "We had no choice. Prim was hungry and mom didn't get out of bed for weeks at a time. I had to figure something out."

"I'm sorry," he said, staring at her with something like awe. "Your dad was a really good man. I remember how happy you were when he was alive."

Katniss nodded, rubbing her belly instinctively. "Mom was so different then too, but she changed." She looked down at the swell wherein the occupant had decided that tonight, it would not stop moving. "I'll never abandon my children like that. Never," she looked up at him, feeling the determination within her.

Peeta leaned in to kiss her. "I believe you. And if I'm around, you will never miss for anything."

"I know. I believe you, too," she said, losing herself to the warm tenderness of his kiss. He made her unbelievably happy and she briefly thought of her mother, how her own love for her father had crippled her when she lost him. It made Katniss want to pull away and hide in her room and escape all the terrible consequences that her feelings for Peeta implied. However, she knew it would be of no use. She was at a place where, no matter what, she would be irreparably damaged if she tried to separate herself from him now. She didn't know if that was love but if her limited experience was any indication, she was sure it was pretty damned close.

Her little person kicked when Peeta splayed his large hand over Katniss's belly. "She knows her daddy's here," he murmured, transported by the moving bump.

"Mmm hmm," Katniss said languidly, reveling in his nearness and the security he gave her just by putting his arm around her. "She's happy, just like her mommy."

"Are you really happy, Katniss?" he asked, his blue eyes wide and serious.

She nodded, not having to think about her answer, which came from somewhere deeper than her roiling womb. "Yes."

Peeta's face brightened and he kissed her, this time, more insistently, demanding that she answer him back. And she did. She dragged him close to her, forcing him to lean towards her in response, deepen his kiss, his hands gripping her hips. She wanted to feel the length of him against her, as she had that first afternoon, when they'd tumbled into each other in his apartment, heady with remembering and desire, before babies and the complication of the unique, winding path of their relationship changed their lives. There had only been his skin and hers, their mingled fingers and entwined limbs and her mouth becoming drunk on his. She wanted that again and her body responded to the thought of it, her skin tingling beneath his fingers.

But as always, when the heat became too great, he pulled back, touching her stomach as if it were a talisman. The gentle reminder of that small, surprising thing growing between them seemed to cool his blood and Katniss felt the molasses return to her joints. The fire was there and would ignite in its own time but for now, they would hold onto each other and it would be more than enough.

**XXXXX**

Katniss dozed off without realizing it, waking much later with the flashing images on the television screen casting long shadows behind them. She looked up to see Peeta's head reclining against the pillow, his mouth slightly open, his blond hair wild in his sleep. She shifted, a dull cramp in her hip, while the baby was remarkably calm given her excitement of earlier. The movement roused Peeta, whose bleary eyes searched the dark apartment around him until they settled on Katniss. Stretching, he helped her up, leading her gingerly to her bedroom and tucked her into her bed.

Sleep weighted heavily on Katniss but when she felt Peeta's kiss on her forehead and his slow withdrawal, she had a sudden moment of panic and captured his hand, tugging him to her.

"Stay with me?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep, but also with her unbearable need to have him close. This parting of ways wore on her and she did not have the resistance to tolerate it tonight.

Even in the dim light of the street lamps outside the window, his nod was visible and she watched as he stripped off his jeans and sweater, leaving him in a t-shirt and boxer shorts. Slipping in behind her, she felt the firm press of his broad chest against her back, his arm resting over her waist, just around her ribcage. It was heaven, a piece of pure perfection and when he left a kiss on her shoulder, Katniss drifted on a sea of purple contentment, the whisper of a word she could not quite catch dancing just beyond the reach of her consciousness until it slipped away and she was pulled under into the warm quilt of sleep.

**XXXXX**

She woke late the next morning, her body pillow on the floor, replaced by Peeta's hard chest, the heat radiating from him like a baking oven as he snored loudly. She smiled at the racket before shifting, her stomach grumbling wildly but she didn't have the heart to wake him. All she could think of was eggs - a plate of scrambled eggs piled so high, she'd have trouble seeing over them. She chuckled at her own gluttony and shimmied as carefully as she could out of bed. Padding to the bathroom, her bladder cried for relief. After washing up, she tip-toed out to the bedroom, checking briefly on Prim to make sure she was home. Satisfied, she made a bee-line to the refrigerator, practically shouting with joy when she spied the 18-count egg carton on the shelf.

She rubbed her hands together, tying her hair back in a wild bun on top of her head and got to work, whisking the eggs. She had a thought and decided to make breakfast for everyone, though she would most certainly have hers first. She was practically drooling as she fried sausages, sliced cheese onto her eggs and toasted bread when she heard a rapping at her door.

"Johanna!" she said when let her friend in from the cold.

"Hey, momma," she gave her a perfunctory air kiss as she shrugged her coat off. "I'm ready for summer," she said between chattering teeth. "What have you got there?"

Katniss indicated with her head towards the kitchen for Johanna to follow her. "Eggs, sausages, toast..."

"Whoa, the kitchen is open for business. I'll have some of that coffee." Johanna opened the cupboard to fetch a mug, whistling at the shiny new cup. "What, no cracks in the ceramic? Sorry, but these are a little high-brow for me."

Katniss blushed as she placed the sausages in a towel to absorb the grease. "Peeta," she simply said.

Johanna admired the solid white mug with the matching designer plates. "He's got taste, I'll give him that. Where is he?"

"In the bedroom, sleeping" Katniss answered as Johanna paused from filling her mug.

"Really? No wonder you're making breakfast!" She gave Katniss a congratulatory punch in the shoulder. "It's about goddamned time! Not like he can knock you up again…"

"Jo!" Katniss exclaimed. "We didn't...that didn't happen. We just...slept…"

Jo finished preparing her coffee. "You know, I can't figure you two out. You have the best sex ever, then you don't give him your number. After, you find out you're pregnant, you make it up, decide to date each other but you won't tap that again? Are you waiting until you can get pregnant again to try?"

"Shhhh...don't worry about it. It's complicated," Katniss hissed, hoping Jo wouldn't wake the house. "Just drink your coffee already!"

"Don't shhhh me, brainless. You wouldn't be in designer plate heaven if I hadn't dragged baby daddy back to you. As far as I'm concerned, I'm invested."

"Fine!" Katniss said, covering the plates to keep the food warm after serving herself and Johanna. Katniss barely took her chair before devouring her eggs, moaning in delight. It was her greatest craving - eggs, cheese puffs and strawberries, sometimes all together if she was feeling really decadent.

"Well, no wonder you don't want to have sex. You're having a regular orgasm over those eggs," Jo teased.

Katniss chuckled, thinking about Jo's words. She and Peeta had held off on sex so they wouldn't confuse the matter of trying to make their relationship work. Secretly, Katniss couldn't be sure if they could even make a go of things. Now, six months later, she couldn't imagine a time when Peeta hadn't been a part of her life. All the reasons they'd had for not moving their relationship to that level didn't seem to be valid any longer. She looked down at her belly and wondered, was this something should even think about, now that she was getting so far along in her pregnancy?

She didn't have time to think on the matter when Peeta suddenly appeared, his ashy blond hair still mussed from sleep, looking better than the scrambled eggs.

"Hey, Jo," he said, wrapping his arms around Katniss and kissed her soundly before searching for a cup of coffee.

"Hey blondie!" she said, polishing the last of her breakfast off with a swipe of her toast. "So what are you guys up to today?"

Peeta settled in next to Katniss. "It's a secret."

"A secret!" Jo exclaimed. "Well, tell me! I can keep a secret!"

Peeta chuckled as Katniss put her things in the sink. "It wouldn't feel the same. Katniss can tell you afterwards."

Jo drained her cup passing it to Katniss to get refilled. "You two are pretty annoying, you know that? Darius and I are going to listen to some live music, but that's not until tonight. I still have to get his gift though. What do you buy for a guy who doesn't believe in dressing up except for funerals?"

Katniss laughed, rubbing her belly. The baby had decided to move now that she'd been fed. "Well, you're the same way too, so you can't criticize,"

"Regardless," Jo said, standing to go. "I'm going to run some errands now. I just wanted to check up on you. You can tell me all about your surprise tomorrow."

Katniss walked her to the door, helping her with her coat. "Try to stay out of trouble, okay?" she said to Johanna.

"Well if I did that, what fun would that be?" Jo laughed before leaving a kiss on Katniss' cheek. Dropping a voice to a whisper, Jo said, "Jump his bones tonight! It'll feel a whole lot better than those eggs."

"Jo!" Katniss scolded but laughed happily. She locked the door behind her and she was still chuckling when she returned to the kitchen. Peeta's eyes lit up when he saw her smile.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, pulling her down to sit on his lap.

"Nothing. Jo's just an unrepentant pervert, that's all." She threaded her arms around his neck, noting his unshaven cheek, how the stubble seemed darker than his hair, something that, for no good reason, excited her enormously. She remembered the dust of curls on his chest, the trail that traveled down his flat stomach, the thinning line that led to places further south, places that promised a kind of pleasure she hadn't known in a very long time. The sound of Peeta's voice broke into her thoughts.

"I said, do you have any plans today?" Peeta repeated, his eyes twinkling because he'd caught her daydreaming, and she was sure he could probably guess it was about him.

"No, I cleared my schedule just for you. You said you were taking me out, right?" she teased, nuzzling his ear, smelling the scent of her shampoo mingled with the unmistakeable smell of him. "Or did you change your mind?"

He growled as she nipped at the lobe of his ear and Katniss felt a fuse somewhere in her brain explode. Her body didn't feel like her own and she suddenly found a source of courage she didn't think she had. Her nips changed as she captured his ear between her lips and sucked on the tender skin. His arms wound their way around her waist, hands tentatively traveling the length of her. She felt the slight movement of the baby as she responded to breakfast but Katniss ignored it, concentrating on the throbbing further down, a hunger that she'd been neglecting for far too long.

She pulled her head back to look into his heavily-lidded eyes. She didn't hesitate but closed the distance, giving him a kiss that forced all the air from her lungs. She tasted coffee, the metallic flavor of the eggs, the buttery toast and him, just woken from sleep, tousled, bleary-eyed and completely irresistible to her. She slid off of his lap and tugged him, pleading wordlessly not to deny her as they walked back to her bedroom at the end of the corridor.

Shutting and locking the door, Katniss leaned against it, mortified by her forwardness but unable to turn aside from what she wanted. It would have to be him to be rational, to put the brakes, if that's what he wanted. For once in her confused, oblique, and emotionally stunted existence, she felt certainty. She didn't want to go anywhere and she didn't want him to be anywhere else but with her.

Still he stood watching her, unmoving, his face hard to read, and fears began to eat away at her. Was she not desireable to him anymore? Was it the belly? Maybe he wanted to wait some more, until she had the baby. Maybe she was too fat? She'd played fast and loose with those eggs and sausages that morning...

"Peeta?" she asked, trying to put an end to the racing thoughts, her voice sounding small even to her own ears.

He swallowed hard as his eyes took all of her in, from her wild hair to her stockinged feet. He reached a hand out and clasped hers to his chest. "Are you sure I won't...hurt you? Hurt you or…" he dropped his eyes to her belly and she understood his hesitation. She looked past her own paranoid thoughts and saw the desire in his eyes, the way his hand seemed to itch to touch her, but she also saw clearly his fear of hurting her or the baby.

"I promise. The baby will be none the wiser."

He nodded, pulling her into the circle of his arms. Gently, as if he were handling a crystal glass, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. It was such a sweet kiss, it nearly brought tears to her eyes. It was shy and unsure, but beneath the uncertainty was an unexpected heat that promised all the things his fear held back.

Katniss stretched up for more and, with resolve, he gave her what she wanted, stealing her breath and her equilibrium until her hands on his shoulders were the only points of contact keeping her in place. She slipped her hands under his shirt, splaying her fingers over the swell of his chest and the taut muscles of his stomach. Katniss remembered them well, the way they'd quivered under her lips and she became impatient to confront the reality with her memory.

Peeta's skin, so fair compared to his burnished-gold hair, was flushed with need as he kissed the skin of her neck, running his lips down to her collarbone. Gazing at Katniss, he slowly unbuttoned her shirt, discarding it and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. Katniss felt suddenly queasy. The last time they'd been together, she had been tiny and slim. Now, her belly jutted out and her areola were twice what they had been. Sudden, a terrible shyness overtook her. Her breasts, which had grown larger with her pregnancy, spilled out from the confines of her bra and she instinctively raised her hands to cover herself.

"Don't," he whispered, gazing hungrily at her. "To me, you're perfect. You have always been perfect," he muttered, gently moving her arms away and bending to take one swollen, turgid nipple in his mouth. She was more sensitive than ever and the mere hint of his lips on her caused liquid fire to pool between her thighs. She was panting as she tugged his curls, demanding more, her body shuddering, begging to have him.

Peeta groaned as he knelt before, undoing the tie of her pants, holding her as she stepped out of them. He was visibly restraining himself, using all of his care when he touched her and it filled her with tenderness for him. He was so broad, so strong and yet his lips on her hips and thighs were the brush of bird's wings along her skin, especially her stomach, where he rained down feather-like kisses.

"It's bigger than you remember," she quipped as she touched her stomach, mortification and arousal warring for dominance.

His eyes, gone slate with his desire, peered up at her, the look of utmost seriousness as he held her belly in both hands. "There's a piece of me growing inside of you. I can't think of anything sexier than that." He reached behind and cupped her bottom in his hands, forgetting his restraint for a moment and squeezing her hard, the lance of pain leaving her headier than before. They worked the rest of their clothes off and tumbled onto the bed. His kisses became more heated, his fingers wandering to where she was embarrassingly wet.

"I want you. Now," she panted into his ear.

"Are you sure?" he asked, to which she only smiled, her kiss her response.

Peeta nodded and maneuvered himself over her but thought better of it and turned her onto her side, laying behind her, pulling her close to him. Slowly, he entered her, as they both groaned with relief. Taking her hips in his hands, he rocked carefully, his movements as gentle as when he first kissed her. It was sweet and controlled and for a time, Katniss enjoyed it. But soon she approached the edge of climax and needed something more, so she pressed against him, wordlessly begging him to pick up the pace. He showered her shoulder with kisses before coming to a full stop.

"Katniss, what if...what if I hit the baby?" he asked.

She reached behind her, desperately grasping his thigh. "I promise, you won't hurt the baby! That's not how it works. I'll even draw you a picture if I need to. Now please, get on with it!"

"Impatient much?" he chuckled as he thrust hard into her, pulled back and pushed into her again.

"That's better," she sighed, moving with him. He lost his hesitation and soon they were thrusting hard against each other, each flick of their hips bringing them closer to their finish. Peeta reached around to fondle her breasts, moaning incoherently at the feel of her before she pushed his hands down between her legs.

"Finish me!" she implored, needing just one more push and wanting very much that he give it to her.

With a deft swipe of his fingers, he pressed her just there and, like a push start, sent her body into powerful spasms of release. She gasped, shaking with the intensity, as if every filament in her body had woken up and decided to ignite at the same time.

"Peeta!" she cried out, forgetting where she was, forgetting that she was pregnant, forgetting that her sister could be sleeping just on the other side of the wall. Nothing mattered except the powerful way her body fell apart. It was unlike anything she'd felt before, and she drew him along with her, his every thrust greeted by powerful waves that ripped gasps of surprise from him until he came, emptying himself inside her still quivering body.

When they'd stilled, Katniss found herself speechless. Their baby, their little acrobat, was remarkably silent, as if she knew better than to disturb mommy and daddy in their very serious play. Katniss glanced feebly over her shoulder to find an equally astounded Peeta, forearm flung over his eyes, his breathing having slowed to a steady rise and fall.

"What just happened?" he asked at length, rubbing the inertia from his face.

Katniss shifted so that she was resting in the crook of his arm. "I don't know but it was incredible."

He glanced over at her, pushing a strand of hair that had gotten stuck to her cheek. "I think we should do it again until we figure out what it is."

Katniss was filled with the feeling of sudden euphoria which soon gave way to a deep contentment and the rumblings of something else, possibly hunger. A vision of fried eggs flashed in her mind before she pushed the image aside. She focused instead on what had just happened between them. "You don't have any regrets, do you?"

Peeta raised himself onto his elbow to look down at her, shaking his head. "I've wanted you since day one. I just didn't want to push you, or us. But this feels right," he trailed his finger across her jaw, down her neck to her collarbone. "I'm glad we waited."

"Aren't you scared you might break me or something?" Katniss teased.

His eyes suddenly widened with mirth and another feeling, so powerful, it took her breath away. "I'm starting to think I should be more worried about me," he smiled, then became serious. "It's Valentine's Day and I still have a gift for you."

Katniss began to protest but he lowered his head to kiss her into silence. When they paused for air, she asked, "Does it require us to get out of bed? I have all I need to celebrate Valentine's Day right here."

Peeta chuckled. "Of course you do! Let me see, cheese buns, eggs, pajamas…"

"And you, of course," she said, only half-teasing, because she could do without everything else but she kept coming back to the conclusion that she couldn't do without him.

He left playful kisses on her nose, her eyes, and her chin, between which, he said. "Sorry, lazy pants. You're going to have to get dressed eventually."

"But not yet," she said, capturing his bottom lip in hers and gently biting down. "I mean, what's the hurry, right?"

Peeta rolled them gently so that Katniss was on top of him. "No hurries. We have all day," he said as he ground up against her, and she was happy to see he'd lost his trepidation, from the way he gripped her hips and held her against him..

"Yes," she whispered. _We have all day. _ _And every day afterwards, if the odds are in my favor_, she thought wistfully to herself.

**XXXXX**

"Your surprise is here? In your apartment?" she asked, suddenly confused. They'd spent all day in bed, rising only to feed Katniss's infinite appetite. Prim had sent her a text at some point during their revels, informing her sister that she would be spending the day with Madge and that, by all means, Katniss should continue to have a Happy Valentine's Day. Katniss almost died of embarrassment before proceeding to do exactly as her sister asked.

"Well, I had planned to make you dinner but…" Peeta said sheepishly, as he ran his hand through his wonderful, thick blond hair. He still had his clothes from yesterday, having spent most of his day covered in Katniss.

"Tell you what, I'll get dinner started and you clean up. Then we can eat. I'm starving! " Katniss said, already rummaging about his kitchen.

"You're always starving," he said, before taking off to wash and change while Katniss became very excited about a cheese platter he'd obviously prepared for their dinner. In particular, there was a soft brie with a vein of blue cheese that she knew she should not eat, according to all her pregnancy books, but she nipped at anyway. She cooked a vegetable omelette, cut bread and laid out the delicious and already pilfered cheese plate.

As she waited, she roamed the living room. It was just as she'd remembered it. Peeta's apartment was much larger than hers. She hadn't seen much, having only stumbled through most of it with him on the way to the bedroom that fateful afternoon. She did, however, briefly recall the beige leather sofa, the dark wood of his end tables and bookshelves, the chic artwork, probably acquired through his gallery. There was good taste everywhere but he'd never allowed any of his advantages to intimidate her.

She glanced down at her dress - a simple black maternity dress with a v-neck and an a-line hem which accentuated her every curve, including her bump, which vibrated with silly hiccups that brought a smile to her face. She felt incredibly pretty, and, despite the afternoon, unbelievably aroused. She'd googled the phenomenon on her phone while Peeta drove them to his apartment and had to keep from fist-pumping the air when she read about sex in the last trimester.

Things were definitely going to be fun.

When Peeta emerged, freshly shaved and wearing a red sweater that did everything possible to accentuate the defined musculature of his chest and shoulders, Katniss thought she could feel the steam blow out of her ears.

"You look…." Katniss said shaking her head because words failed her completely. Instead, she stepped up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"You look pretty amazing yourself, he said, flushed with pleasure and a sudden touch of nerves that had Katniss wondering.

"Do you want to eat?" she asked, hoping to assuage the sudden tension of his excitement.

"Yeah but...can I...I want to give you my surprise or else, I don't think I'll be able to eat," he said, his breath coming in shallow pants that he tried to mask by swallowing hard.

"Yes, of course," Katniss said, her curiosity completely piqued. She took his hand and squeezed it. "I'm sure that whatever it is, I'm going to love it."

"I hope so," he said pulling her along with him. Like her apartment, the master bedroom lay at the end of the corridor, in an alcove to the left. However, across from it was another door, what she had always assumed was an additional bedroom. She glimpsed two more doors on the way down and wondered briefly how big his apartment really was.

"Three bedrooms," he answered when she asked. "I wanted a guest room and a studio." He stood outside the door and opened it to a room now enshrouded in darkness. He glanced at Katniss, taking a deep breath.

"Ready?" he asked.

Katniss's heart pounded in her chest, the beat reverberating in a rush up to her ears. "Yes." she said.

When he flipped on the lights, she was overwhelmed by gorgeously painted walls in soft yellow, half-paneled with white wood. A plush, yellow area rug lay in the middle of the floor. The accent wall was painted with a meadow awash in dandelions and wildflowers of every color, a vision of perpetual spring. An old fashioned bassinet sat pristinely in a corner next to a matching rocking chair upholstered in a print similar to the wall of wildflowers. Katniss was unable to tear her eyes from a delicate mobile that hung in expectation over the crib and had a hard time seeing the details of the borders against the far wall or the changing table immediately upon entering because tears suddenly clouded her vision.

She raised her hands to her mouth, an involuntary sob escaping her lips but her ability to speak had been stolen from her.

"Katniss?" Peeta asked, panicked. "Please, Katniss, say something! You don't have to move in today, if you're not ready. I don't expect that and maybe, you don't want to move in ever but if you do - and I hope to God you do - you and the baby have a place, here, with me."

"Peeta, I…" she gasped, but in his heightened state, he didn't hear her.

"If it's Prim you're worried about, she can have my studio. There's nothing but a desk and easels and painting stuff in there and anyway, you're going to need someone to help you with the baby when she's born. Her school isn't that far from here and even Johanna…"

"Peeta!" Katniss burst out, stopping his effusions in mid-sentence. "Are you asking me to move in with you?"

He nodded almost maniacally, taking a deep, breath before answering. "Yes, Katniss. Whenever you're ready, whenever you decide...I would be very happy if you moved in with me."

She wiped her face, which was bathed in her tears of surprise and of joy. It had only been six months, too soon by anyone's timeline, but she was already growing his child, which had happened so unexpectedly. It was backwards and upside down and completely contrary to the way things should be…

"Yes, I'll move in," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist, resting her forehead against his chest, within which his heart raced like jackhammer.

"Yes?" he repeated, as if his brain could not compute her response.

She nodded against his chest. "Yes, Peeta. It would have happened anyway. Let it be now."

She felt the tension drain from his taut muscles, his arms winding around to clasp her tightly to him. "I believe that too. It would have happened, one way or the other."

The soft material of his sweater warmed her cheek while his steady arms kept her on her feet. It was so much more than she'd hoped for when she'd sat, sobbing in Johanna's arms the day she found out she was pregnant. It seemed as if that had happened to another person altogether. She was here with Peeta now. There was no way she could have foreseen then how completely and utterly she would love him now.

"Does this mean you love me?" Katniss asked, a riot of fireworks exploding in her heart, threatening to punch a hole in her chest and spill out the riotous light of happiness into the world.

Peeta tipped her face up to look at him, and she realized that he had been crying also. "I do. I've loved you since the very beginning. When you volunteered to sing the Valley Song in kindergarten, and I heard your voice, I knew I was a goner. I never recovered from that."

Katniss smiled, pulling away suddenly to return to where her bag lay discarded on the sofa and rummaged inside, pulling out a flat, colorful parcel and returning to where he stood. "I feel like my gift is so anticlimactic after yours." She handed the box to him. "Happy Valentine's Day.".

He unwrapped the paper, letting the scraps fall heedlessly to the floor. Inside was a framed photo of an ultrasound, a perfect shot of a baby's rounded head, thumb in mouth, tiny legs folded before her. Peeta had accompanied Katniss to her routine ultrasounds but she knew he'd never seen this shot of his daughter.

"She's...perfect…." he said with reverence, running his hands over the glass as if he were caressing the baby herself.

"It's not much…" Katniss began but Peeta shook his head.

"No, you gave me the best gift anyone could ever give. And I love you so much for it." He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. "Thank you."

Katniss melted into the warmth of his strong arms and knew this would be hers for as long as he wanted it, which was as good as forever. Her stomach, oblivious to the momentous occasion, growled loudly, and followed with a sharp kick that even Peeta felt through his sweater. They both burst into laughter at the impeccable timing of their impatient child and Katniss' equally impatient stomach.

Peeta hugged Katniss to the side, leading her back to the kitchen. "Come on, let's feed this girl before she starts a revolution."

At that moment, Katniss would have agreed to anything Peeta asked, as long as whatever he proposed, he would be the one to share it with her.

**XXXXX**

**I blame this update entirely on que-sera-sera88, who, when asked to vote for updates on some of my WIPs, reminded me that this one was still outstanding. And I dedicate the smut specifically to akai-echo, to whom I promised some smut and have, as usual, taken a terrifically long time to deliver.**

**Just a note - I was very fortunate to have amazing pregnancies, during which I only felt a little queasiness in the beginning and had so many happy hormones, I felt high as a kite all the time. I also craved copious amounts of eggs, strawberries and cottage cheese but heaven forbid anyone put a hunk of red meat in front of me. Just...no. So I base Katniss' experiences on mine, which I know were milder than most. Forgive me if they appear unrealistic - that's just how it went with me.**


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